We have just returned from Halifax and we ended up buying some lobsters at the Halifax airport as souvenirs. That’s right. Fresh lobsters. Now Doran and I have the scary task of trying to cook the thing for the first time.
Let me just say, I’m scared out of my mind. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me do this, but I want to eat Atlantic lobster, so I’m going to “live” blog this event.
1:00pm: Lobster is home after 5 hours of travelling on the plane. It didn’t get priority seating, in case you’re wondering.
1:00pm: It’s in the fridge! It’s not moving.
1:00pm: Anxiety level: 5.
1:07pm: Doran is watching a video of ‘How to Cook Lobster’ from a man who sounds like he’s from the South. People from the South know what they are doing when it comes to seafood.
1:07pm: I am Googling how to humanely kill a lobster. Anxiety level: 7.
1:08pm: It turns out that lobsters have no central nervous system so that it can’t feel pain. Why doesn’t that make me feel better?
1:09pm: I’ve decided that I should get it drunk, but all we have is gin. I don’t think we want to burn it’s eyes out, so…. change of plans. We are going to freeze it for a few minutes to put it to sleep. Then throwing it in a pot of boiling water head first.
1:09pm: Anxiety level: 8.
1:10pm: Doran says don’t bother freezing it. Anxiety level 9 (my heart is racing)
1:10pm: Filling up a pot of water now.
1:19pm: I’m questioning why Doran is putting in 1/2 cup of salt in the water. That’s really salty….
1:21pm: Doran called it Pinchy. We have personified it! Anxiety level: 9.5.
1:23pm: Going to do laundry to take my mind off Pinchy.
1:33pm: Water is ready. Anxiety level: 11.
1:35pm: I have to put it in. IT’S MOVING! Anxiety level: 105.
1:37pm: There is not enough water. There is not enough water. There. Is. Not. Enough. Water.
1:40pm: We all scream because it’s moving in the boiling water. I just said a small prayer.
1:47pm: As we hover over the pot like curious children, Doran asks me how I feel about it now that it’s in the pot. I don’t have a response. I don’t know what to say.
1:55pm: It’s done. He looks delicious. Anxiety level: 0.
So as I shamefully devour this lobster, I shall end this post. It was quite the roller coaster ride of emotions. I don’t think I can ever be a seafood chef.
Adventures of Doran & Eric 